A-Z of M2M Sex

Anal sex is also called fucking. It is basically the insertion of one guy’s cock into the anus of another. A guy who fucks is called ‘active’ or a ‘top’, and a guy being fucked is called 'passive' or a ‘bottom’. Versatile guys enjoy both. For some guys anal sex is the ultimate, as this stimulates the male G-spot (or prostate gland), a small, chestnut-sized bump situated approximately 3-4 cm inside the anus, behind the penis (see: Anatomy of the Penis).  According to various studies, the rate of anal sex among gay men ranges between 70 and 85%. However, a minority of gay men are happy with other forms of sex (such as oral sex and masturbation). It is really up to you; there is no right or wrong. Do only what you feel comfortable with and don’t let anyone ‘talk’ you into anal sex if you don’t want to do it.
 

Being a Top

As already mentioned, a ‘top’ is basically the active partner that inserts his cock into the anus of his passive partner. Being a top is generally considered safer than being a bottom. But that is not to say that there aren’t any risks (see: STIs and HIV). Enjoyable anal sex is more than just putting it in his butt. It is about knowing what you are doing, being prepared, and working your way up to this point through sensual foreplay (see: Foreplay). 
 

As the active/inserting partner, make sure that you carry condoms and enough lube. Only put the condom on once your cock is hard enough (see: condoms) and are ready to fuck. Apply some lube (see: lube) to your cock and his anus, so that your entry is more sensual and less painful for both of you. It is a good idea that you both proceed slowly and carefully, giving him enough time to relax. If he is not relaxed there is no way you are going to get your cock inside him. Foreplay (see: Foreplay) (kissing, touching, caressing, sucking, rimming, fingering, etc) can be a great way to relax and raise the level of excitement for both of you. Rimming (see: rimming) and fingering (see: fingering) actually helps the sphincter muscle (see: Anatomy of the Anus) of the anus to relax, which will allow for more enjoyable fucking. Another option would be to use a sex toy (see: Sex toys), such as a dildo or butt plug, to help him relax and open up.

Once you are ready to fuck him, be sure to do this gradually. First press your cock against his anus. Then slowly begin inserting the head of your cock (See: Anatomy of the Penis) and withdrawing. Repeat this for a while. You can incorporate other things while doing this, such as kissing or massage (practice makes perfect). If things are ok at this stage begin inserting more of your cock into him. Make small, slow thrusts at this point. If desirable to both of you, you can begin making fuller thrusts. But a word of caution – the inner lining of the anus is not elasticized (does not stretch easily), so be careful not to tear the walls of the anus (see: Anatomy of the Anus) when thrusting your cock into him. And remember to be sensitive to his cues and focus on making the sex pleasurable for both of you.

Sometimes, being nervous, tired or not sufficiently horny, you may find that you lose your hard-on (see: Erectile dysfunction) while engaging in foreplay or once you have started fucking him. This may happen to a person who is just starting as a top or even to someone with lots of sexual experience. If this happens, take a deep breath, remove all pressure to perform, and consider fooling around a bit more before attempting to fuck again. 
Some tops believe that they are not at risk for HIV or STIs since they are the active partner. But this is a myth. Know the risks (see: STIs and HIV). That aside, good anal hygiene (see: Anal Hygiene) is very IMPORTANT!
 

Being a Bottom

As already mentioned, a ‘bottom’ is basically a passive partner that receives his partner’s cock in his anus (see: Anatomy of the Anus). An inexperienced bottom usually needs some time to learn how to relax his sphincter muscle, so as to allow his partner’s cock inside him. A great suggestion for learning how to relax your sphincter muscle is to practice tightening and loosening the muscles in your anus (hold and release), by fingering (see: fingering) yourself or experimenting with sex toys (see: Sex toys), such as a dildo or butt plug. Be sure to use plenty of lube to increase your comfort and pleasure.

Unprotected anal sex carries the highest risk for HIV and other STIs. As such, before taking the next step, it is important that you be informed of the associated risks of anal sex: 

• The semen of an infected individual contains high concentrations of the HIV virus;
• The membranous lining of the rectum (which is very rich in blood vessels) is thin and can easily be torn during anal sexual activity. Such abrasions in the tissue allow HIV to enter into the vascular system in large numbers;
• In addition, the mucosal tissue in the rectum contains a high concentration of receptors that are ideal for the HI virus to attach itself to; and
• Even if the lining of the rectum is not torn during anal sex, studies have shown that semen contains two components, collagenase and spermine, that cause the breakdown of the membrane allowing substances to penetrate the rectal and colon mucosa.

Even if engaging in protected anal sex, there is still a significant degree of risk because of the following:

• Condoms and lube that are not used correctly increase the chance of them breaking or slipping off; and
• While fucking it is sometimes very difficult to tell whether the condom is still intact or not, until it is often too late.

Being aware of the associated risks, you can make informed choices about what is safest for you. Remember, you can still have fun while being safe.

Once more confident and comfortable, you will be ready to move onto the next stage: letting him fuck you. There are a number of variations (see: sex positions) of how he can fuck you. You could try lying on your side with the top leg bent forward at the hip and knee and the bottom leg straight while he penetrates you. Or alternatively, you could lie on your back and lift your legs over his shoulders while he inserts his cock into you. Another possibility could be for you to position yourself on your hands and knees while he fucks you from behind. Whatever the style, make sure that both of you are comfortable. Given the risks mentioned above, insist that he uses a condom (see: condoms) and a high quality, water-based lube (see: lube) like KY to help make penetration safer, easier and more enjoyable for both of you. Ask him to withdraw periodically to check that the condom is intact and still on his cock. Also insist that he cum outside you, even if he has a condom on. These strategies will help reduce your risks.

Sometimes a condom breaks or tears. Don’t panic! Rather talk to your sex partner about your concerns. Consider what your risk is and explore the possible need to go for an HIV test (especially if you are uncertain about his status and sexual history).

And lastly, good anal hygiene (see: Anal hygiene) is very IMPORTANT!

Barebacking basically refers to intentional acts of unprotected anal sex (that is without a condom). Despite being the highest sexual risk practice, it has recently enjoyed resurgence among certain pockets of gay men.

Barebacking is very controversial, even within the gay community. Most experts condemn barebacking and barebackers because of the belief that the practice has caused upsurges in STIs and HIV infections among young gay men and has given bad publicity to the gay community as a whole. Others defend barebacking because of the belief that it is more spontaneous, that flesh-on-flesh action is more stimulating and even worth (and part of the excitement associated with) the high risks of contracting STIs and HIV. Others say that the publicity that barebacking has received is greater than its actual occurrence, and that any focus on barebacking has more to do with negative stereotypes of gay men as being promiscuous and irresponsible, rather than an actual increase in risk-taking among gay men. And then there are those that will argue that adult men should be able to engage in the consensual sexual acts of their choosing without permission or apology. No matter where you situate yourself in terms of these arguments, it is important for you to know the facts.

Following the emergence of HIV in the early 1980s, barebacking, particularly in the US and Europe, declined significantly because of successful prevention campaigns initiated by the gay community itself. However it has reportedly made a comeback in recent times, as evidenced in various international studies. The reasons for this comeback include:

• The advent and relative success of protease inhibitors and other drugs for treating HIV;
• Increased apathy over the transmission of HIV, which includes condom fatigue and dislike (look at the Safet Zone sections > Condoms and Lube);
• Adoption of a fearless strategy to overcome an underlying anxiety over contracting HIV;
• Possible low self-worth combined with a pessimistic attitude,
• Increased drug abuse (more: Sexual Health > Alcohol and Substance intake), as well as an
• Increase in on-line bareback pornography, which romanticises and eroticises the practice, by using messages that ‘only real men bareback’.

As such, barebacking has become a fetish (link to fetishes) among a subculture of gay men. This subculture has developed its own slang, such as "breeding" (ejaculation inside the rectum of the receptive participant), "charging up" (the same as breeding, but the male doing the ejaculating is HIV+), and "Russian Roulette party" or "conversion party" (a group sex party attended by HIV positive persons and HIV negative persons, the latter taking the chance that they may become infected with HIV).

Despite barebacking being an irresistible fetish for many gay men, the hard fact remains that unprotected anal sex carries the highest risk for transmitting HIV and other STIs. Such freedom carries a heavy cost. Even if both partners are positive, there is the risk of re-infecting one another with different or more resistant strains of HIV (link to HIV).

So you like to be spanked? Or maybe you prefer wielding a whip during foreplay and getting naughty pussy boys to behave?

These and other variations of kinky sex involving dominance, submission, punishment, masochism, bondage and role play can be defined as BDSM.

BDSM is an abbreviation derived from the terms bondage and discipline (B&D, B/D, or BD), dominance and submission (D&S, D/S, or DS), and sadism and masochism (S&M, S/M, or SM). It is important to note that BDSM is not a form of sexual abuse, despite appearing coercive or violent.

BDSM is conducted between consenting adults and follows the philosophy of ‘safe, sane and consensual’. BDSM includes activities and relationships that centre on people taking on complementary, but unequal, roles (e.g., Tops or dominants and bottoms or submissives). Sometimes, an individual is seen to move between the two, known as a switch.

Aside from general safer sex guidelines (look: Safety Zone) a number of precautions are usually agreed upon upfront, like limits and the use of code words. This is important to minimize any physical injury.

For some guys a blowjob, sucking off or going down on someone is part of foreplay, for others it is the main course. A good blowjob is all about technique and rhythm but remember to be sensitive to your partner’s wishes. Giving head without a condom is not risk-free, although it is certainly safer than unprotected fucking.

Oral sex requires the right combination of tongue, lips, throat, hands and rhythm. What combination works is different for every guy. Try variations in style and rhythm, by changing depth, speed and pressure. There is one basic rule though that almost everyone agrees on: no teeth! A bit of careful nibbling is about all some may enjoy.

The glans (the head) (look: Sexual Health > Anatomy) of the cock is the most sensitive part. Using your tongue and lips on this area is certain to make him groan with pleasure. And for extra points, lick him up and down his shaft, and gently caress his balls and perineum (the area between the balls and the anus) with your tongue.

Oral sex is sometimes called sucking, but that does not mean that you should necessarily suck on his cock like an ice-lolly or straw. Although some may enjoy this, most will not. Licking (using a lot of spit or flavoured lube) and gentle sucking is usually the way to go. Start gently, noting his responses. If he responds well, proceed, if he doesn’t then hold back. Don’t be afraid to ask him what he enjoys. It is oral sex, right?

Don’t forget to use your hands! You do not necessarily have to shove his cock all the way down your throat (as the deep throat porn professionals would have you believe). This is where your hands can act as an extension of your mouth. Remember to wet your palms with spit or flavoured lube. Massaging or putting pressure on the perineum while sucking him off can work really well. Alternatively you can massage his inner thighs or press one finger gently against his anus while going down on him.

Oral sex can become vigorous, so be sure to keep the ‘sucking’ noise levels down, so as not to put him off. If you are worried about awkward sounds during oral sex or intercourse, put on some sexy music, and let it transport you both beyond the sound barrier.
Despite the delectable pleasure of oral sex, there are certain risks you should be aware of: you can get several STIs from oral sex, like Gonorrhoea, Syphilis and Hepatitis B (look: STIs). You can minimize your risks by always using a cut flavoured condom (look: Safety Zone > Condoms and Lube), a flavoured dental dam (look: Safety Zone > Dental Dams), or if all else fails, non-microwavable cling or glad wrap when having oral sex. Alternatively, if none of the above is available or preferred, avoid cumming inside the mouth to reduce the risk. It is also advisable that you avoid brushing your teeth before having oral sex as this could open your gums and cause them to bleed. And most importantly, if you notice any cuts or sores in your mouth, try and refrain from going down on him, as this will increase your risk significantly. Bon Appétit!

This is a form of non-penetrative sex. It can be a sexual act on its own or could form part of fore-play. Body rubbing can include only yourself or both you and your partner. It can be done on over your clothes, or more seductively, while your clothes are coming off, one layer at a time. Body rubbing basically involves rubbing your hand (either dry or with a body lotion or oil) or another part of your body over a particular area of your or your partner’s body. This can be done at varying speeds and pressure. The neck, the ear-lobes, the lips, the nipples, the crotch, the inner thighs are particular erogenous zones (look: A-Z of M2M Sex > Erogenous Zones) to focus on. Body rubbing can be incredibly stimulating and relaxing. It is also a great way of exploring and becoming more familiar with your or your partner’s body.

The good news about body rubbing is that on its own, it carries minimal risk for transmitting HIV and most STIs, as there is little or no exchange in bodily fluids. Your risk will only increase slightly if you venture onto oral sex (look: A-Z of M2M Sex > Oral Sex) and mutual masturbation (look: A-Z of M2M Sex > Mutual Masturbation), and more considerably if you progress onto fucking (look: A-Z of M2M Sex > Anal Sex). Body rubbing may be a great recovery technique to losing an erection (look: Sexual Health > Dysfunctions > Erectile Dysfunction) or cumming too soon (look: Sexual Health > Dysfunctions > Premature Ejaculation). For similar info see frottage.

Casual sex refers to any sexual activity where those involved do not define it as romantic and where one does not view their sexual partner as a long-term or primary partner, or boyfriend. Other related terms include:

• No strings attached fun
• Fuck buddy
• One night stands
• Hook-ups
• Friends with benefits
• Anonymous sex

It can be a once-off encounter (as in a one night stand) or can be a spoken or unspoken agreement that can stretch over a longer period of time (as in fuck buddies). But in most instances, casual sex is without any long-term commitment, and can be with little or no romantic attachment.

Many find this appealing because of the excitement it offers. Others enjoy the idea of ‘uncomplicated fun’. And then there are those that find sexual variety very appealing. However, for most, it only offers a brief form of connection, which does not satisfy an underlying human desire for an ongoing emotional and physical connection. For them, feelings of emptiness and shame surface soon after the sexual encounter is over.

Online dating services have become a popular place to meet others and can be used to find suitable partners for casual sex, or it may follow a night out clubbing or chilling at a bar. In the latter contexts alcohol and drugs (look: Sexual Health > Alcohol and Substance Intake) will most likely be available. If so, remember that overindulgence in alcohol or drugs can lead to:

• an impairment in judgment,
• a decrease in inhibitions,
• an increase in sexual risk-taking,
• an increase in number of sexual partners, and
• an increase in the odds of engaging in unprotected sex.

Try to use substances responsibly. Know your limits in order to avoid making choices you wouldn't otherwise make. Ask your best friend to look out for you. It is also very important to note that although exciting for many, casual sex does pose considerable risk because (1) the sexual histories of either sexual partner are often not known to each other (especially if a once-off encounter), and (2) because casual sex often implies having had a higher number of sexual partners (as in the case of hook-ups or one night stands). Know the risks and make the right choices for yourself (look: Safety Zone).

Chain fucking is the stuff of many a fantasy. It involves three or more men positioning themselves in a row, with the front person facing or looking away from the rest of the chain. Guy number 2 fucks guy number 1, while guy number 3 fucks guy number 2, and so on and so forth. It is very difficult to achieve and maintain as everyone’s cocks should be hard and everyone would need to maintain a particular rhythm in order to keep the chain going. Should someone’s cock slip out, the chain will be broken and everything will have to start all over again. The same risks (look: STI's and HIV/Aids) and safer sex (look: Safety Zone > Condoms and Lube) guidelines apply here. The only difference is that there is so much going on at once that it is often very difficult to assess whether a condom is still in place and intact.

Also known as foreskin play. Cock docking is a form of mutual masturbation that is achieved by inserting the head of a circumcised or uncircumcised cock (look: Sexual Health > Anatomy of the Penis) under the foreskin of an uncircumcised cock. Once the cocks are docked, you can enjoy the pleasure of having two cock heads in such close proximity. The head or tip of the penis (look: Sexual Health > Anatomy of the Penis) is after all the most sensitive part of the cock. And there is just something so erotic about rubbing two cock heads together. Two heads are better than one right? It is important to note that cock docking should not be attempted if the foreskin is extremely tight (a condition called Phimosis) (look: Sexual Health > Phimosis) as this could cause a great deal of discomfort. In addition, cock docking should be avoided if there are any cuts or tears under the foreskin. Although relatively low, there is still some risk of contracting an STI. Ensure that you minimize any contact with pre-cum and that good hygiene is maintained at all times.

This is largely a British slang word that refers to anonymous sex that takes place in a public toilet or tea-room, or cruising for sexual partners with the intention of having sex elsewhere. Historically, public toilets were almost the only places that guys could meet and hook-up. This is to a large extent no longer used today as there are many places to meet like-minded guys. And the term ‘cottaging’ has simply given way to ‘cruising’ (look: Social Spaces). Although exciting for many, anonymous sex does pose considerable risk because (1) the sexual histories of either sexual partner are often not known to each other, and (2) because anonymous sex often implies having had a higher number of sexual partners. Know the risks and make the right choices for yourself (look: Safety Zone).

For those of you with active imaginations there’s cybersex. Computer sex is a virtual sexual encounter in which two or more persons connect remotely via a computer network and send one another sexually explicit messages. It is a form of role-playing in which the participants pretend they are having actual sex in cyberspace. It may involve real life jerking-off (look: A-Zof M2M Sex > Masturbation) during the cybersex encounter.
The quality of a cybersex encounter typically depends upon the participants' abilities to evoke a vivid, visceral mental picture in the minds of their partners.

Imagination and suspension of disbelief are also critically important. Cybersex can occur among lovers who are geographically separated, or among individuals who have no prior knowledge of one another and meet in virtual space to have sex. In other cases, it may be a first step to actually hooking up. In some contexts cybersex is enhanced by the use of webcams to transmit real-time video of the partners. The great news about cybersex is that on its own it poses no personal health risk.

Ears
There are bundles of nerve endings in and around the ears, making them ultra sensitive to your touch. Use the pads of your index finger and thumb to massage the outer ears with slow, firm movements. Gently squeeze the earlobes. Explore the area behind the ear with your lips and tongue, and then blow lightly. Don't be shy about making a noise while you're lingering there -- the sound of your breath and moans is a huge turn-on for most men.

Lips
It is very unlikely that a man will not enjoy kissing his partner. The more you kiss the better you should become. Lips are very sensitive (especially when aroused) and for men it is easy to get him aroused just from kissing. Kissing lets him know that there is (probably) more "good stuff" ahead and that starts his mind fantasizing.

Neck
The neck is always a great place to turn on your partner. There are several things to keep in mind here, most importantly controlling yourself. Hickies may have been the big thing when you were younger, but most men hate them, especially when they have to wear turtlenecks for a week! (If you must suck for blood, keep the hickies to places that are usually covered by clothes). Try to have a moist mouth, but don't slobber! Cover different areas of his neck with tender kisses, using the areas under/behind the ears for extra stimulation. Light nibbling and tugging usually work really well also. Start out soft and gentle; as he gets into it, slowly go harder and wilder to release his beast within.

His Scalp
The scalp can be very sensitive to stimulation, and since he's probably not expecting you to give any attention to it, surprise him. Many men like to have a gentle head massage or scratching, so gently run your hands through his hair in circular motions while lightly scratching his scalp.

Chest
To many men, the chest is one of their favorite body parts. To appreciate it is to appreciate the man. Massage it and occasionally whisper how much you love how hard it is (especially if your man works out). Nipples are highly sensitive and should be sucked and nibbled on. Just remember to start out a little slower and work up to harder techniques. Watch for discomfort, some partners have a lower pain threshold than others, so again, communicate.

Inner Thighs
Inner thighs are always a great place to turn your partner on, as they don’t get touched much during everyday life. Whether it is touching, kissing, licking, or nibbling, virtually everything you do around this area will feel good.

Glans
This is the pinnacle of stimulation for a man. The glans head is the purplish, mushroom shaped mass at the top of a man's penis. This is the most sensitive part of his body and concentrating on it is the easiest way to get him off. Men with foreskin have a more sensitive glans head and sometimes need to be handled more gently.

Perineum
The perineum is the area between the scrotum and the anus. There are a lot of nerve endings there and it is quite responsive to gentle fondling. For a smoother experience, try using a little artificial lubricant or massage oil. You may want to try vigorously massaging the perineum just prior to orgasm; this gives many men a rush of pleasure.

Anus
The Anus has a large number of nerve endings surrounding it and it is very sensitive. The proper stimulation of this area can heighten a man's pleasure.

Scrotum
The scrotum is the sack that holds the testicles. This is a very sensitive and very fragile part of a man's body. Applying too much pressure to the testicles will cause immense amounts of pain. This does not mean to stay away from them; it just means to be very gentle. To really get your man going, fondle his testicles gently in one hand. Even more erotic and far more appreciated is to lightly suck or lick the scrotum (try getting one or both testicles in your mouth and humming).
 

(Source: www.sexinfo101.com)

The word fetish can be used formally and informally to describe a range of behaviours. Informally a sexual fetish can be used to describe a particular preference for a particular object, body part or activity because of its sexual significance. In these instances a person is able to enjoy sex even without this particular object, body part or activity. Formally, a fetish usually refers to an object, body part or activity, whose real or fantasised presence is psychologically required for sexual gratification. In this instance the person is fixated upon the object, body part or activity, and without it they are unable to become aroused.
 

When a fetish is present, an individual will frequently masturbate while holding, rubbing, or smelling the fetish object or may ask his sexual partner to wear the object during their sexual encounters. Objects can include dildos, butt-plugs, hand-cuffs, shoes, underwear, leather whips, uniforms, stuffed animals etc. Body parts can include feet, navels, arm pits, hair cock, buttocks etc. Activities can include:

• Role-play – Re-enacting a particular role with a partner, as in Teacher and Student;
• Barebacking – Intentionally engaging in unprotected anal sex;
• Bondage – Use of physical (as in rope) or psychological (as in slave) restraint;
• Golden showers – Urinating on a partner;
• Felching – Consuming own semen from a partner’s anus after fucking;
• Fisting – Inserting the arm or hand into a partner’s anus;
• Snowballing – Consuming own semen from a partner’s mouth; and
• Scat – Consuming a partner’s faeces.

Although exciting for some, a fetish can carry certain risks depending on the particular fetish itself. For example, using a dildo (look: Sex Toys) on yourself poses minimal risk, but sharing it increases your risk significantly. Body parts coming in contact with each other is not necessarily problematic, but an exchange in bodily fluids might be (look: STI's and HIV/Aids). Activities such as barebacking, felching, scat, and golden showers, for example, can pose considerable risk of contracting HIV or an STI (look: STI's and HIV/Aids). Know the risks and make the right choices for yourself (look: Safety Zone).

Fingering involves inserting one or two fingers into the anus. You can do this to yourself as part of your solosex, or you can do it to another guy. It can be a great way to explore or yourself or your partner, or can be used as part of fore-play. But remember to go slowly and gently if inexperienced or when with someone for the first time.

Ensure that your finger is wet (with spit or lube) and massage around your or your partner’s sphincter muscle (look: Sexual Health > Anatomy of the Anus). Carefully and slowly press your finger against the anus. Just remember to relax, enjoy the moment and ensure that your hand is clean and that your fingernails are cut beforehand.

Once you have carefully inserted your finger(s) into your or your partner’s anus (that is you have passed the sphincter muscle), you will find that there is more space to move around. Just on the inside (behind the penis) is the prostate (a walnut-shaped gland) (look: Anatomy of the Penis), which is also known as the male G spot. It is a very sensitive area and can be a source of sheer pleasure when rubbed gently with your finger.

Finger fucking can be a great preparation for anal sex. But for some guys it is exciting enough to finger fuck or be finger fucked. It is really up to you.

Please remember to wash your hands afterwards. This is especially important after fingering a partner as finger fucking does carry some risk of contracting Hepatitis A and B (look: STI's).

Also known as handballing. Fisting involves the insertion of a hand and/or part of the arm into the anus. This is not for everyone and can be potentially dangerous if not done properly. The essential ingredients for fisting are large amounts of lube, latex gloves, and a willing, relaxed and horny partner. It is very important to note that forcing a full fist into the anus, not trimming your nails properly, and not using a clean latex glove can cause severe injury, including tears, ruptures, and bacterial and viral infections. If still curious despite these serious risks then there are a few more things you should know before attempting this. When fisting, ensure that your nails are trimmed and that you are using a clean latex glove. Apply generous amounts of lube to your hand. Ensure that your partner is completely relaxed. Slowly and gently begin inserting one finger into the anus. If things are still ok, then proceed to add more fingers one at a time, holding them as close together as possible. Once all fingers and the thumb have been inserted, add another generous helping of lube. Now, gently rotate your hand into the anus. Do so slowly and gently while checking your partner’s responses. Once inserted, ball your hand and slowly move backwards and forwards in the anus, massaging the prostate as you go. Once done, open your hand and close your fingers close together. Begin removing your hand slowly.

If there is any discomfort experienced at any point, or if there is excessive bleeding, encourage your partner to relax and remove your hand slowly. Inserting your hand too quickly can result in dangerous tears in the rectal wall. If concerned at any point do not hesitate to go to the emergency room. After being fisted, your partner may be unable to control his bowel movements. The expanded rectal walls (look: Anatomy of the Anus) should eventually return to normal size.

As already mentioned, Fisting can be potentially dangerous. In addition to possible injury, fisting without a latex glove can increase one’s risk of contracting HIV or an STI (look: HIV/Aids and STI's), especially if there are open wounds on the hand, arm or rectum, which could facilitate transmission.

Traditionally, foreplay was seen as something a guy did in order to get his partner ready for fucking. Today, however, foreplay has become an integral part of the whole sexual experience. Foreplay usually brings increased sexual pleasure to both partners. Foreplay can take the form of massage, body rubbing, kissing, caressing, licking, sucking, blowing, hugging, talking dirty, and teasing. Foreplay is generally focused on the erogenous zones (look: Erogenous Zones) and is usually progressive, in that caressing could lead to body rubbing and light nibbling can lead to kissing, for example. The essence of foreplay is to have fun and to be creative. Safer sex practices can easily be incorporated as part of foreplay (e.g., getting your partner to put your condom on for you).

Frottage, or dry humping, is the act of achieving sexual pleasure with a partner or partners, whether naked or clothed, without penetration. Frottage is often used interchangeably with body rubbing (look: Body Rubbing). But here, Frottage will refer more exclusively to mutual genital rubbing without penetration. That is rubbing your crotch or cock against your partner’s.

Frottage can be a form of foreplay or a method on its own to achieve sexual gratification. Often young people will use frottage as an earlier stage of sexual intimacy before more explicit contact is pursued. Also, frottage can be done without getting undressed, which may be preferable in certain circumstances (e.g., not have a room available). Being clothed can aid to sexual arousal and stimulation. The great news about frottage is that on its own it poses no personal health risk.

Kissing (either as a peck on the cheek, a closed mouth-to-mouth smooch, or a deep, open mouth-to-mouth kiss) is often the first erotic experience in someone’s life. Almost every sexual act starts with kissing. Some say that kissing can tell you what a guy will be like in bed: if the kissing doesn’t work, neither will the rest. But whether a first kiss can tell you so much is debatable, because the more often you kiss, the sooner you will discover what works, and the more passionate it is likely to be. And the more comfortable and relaxed you feel, the more you are able to let go and enjoy the moment.

The art of kissing
In essence kissing is really simple. Tilt your head slightly to one side, ensure that your noses are not in the way, lean towards each other, press your lips against his, open your lips partially and begin teasing him with your tongue. Let your tongue explore his mouth (especially his lips and tongue). Caution: do not get too excited and ram your tongue down his throat. Feel your partner's rhythm and match it. Be sure to monitor your spit levels so that you don’t slobber all over him! If you are feeling particularly adventurous try and vary things a bit by gently nibbling on or sucking his bottom lip. It does not matter whether you keep your eyes open or closed.

If you are not very experienced and confident, then perhaps it is best that you follow his lead at first. If he is not very experienced don’t feel afraid to ask him to follow your lead.

Use your hands. Hold his face, caress his hair, slide your hand down his back. Each move will enhance the kiss that much more. And remember that you don’t have to kiss him only on the mouth. His whole body is waiting to be explored with sensual kisses.

If you think you might have bad breath or that you will taste funny, chew some gum or a mint beforehand. Even though it is well known that kissing carries a very low risk for the transmission of HIV (look: HIV), it is still possible for you to contract Herpes and Hepatitis B (look: STI's). It is for this reason that you should not brush your teeth before kissing someone. Rather rinse your mouth with a minty mouth wash or chew some gum.

Mutual masturbation occurs where two or more people stimulate themselves or one another sexually, usually with the hands. Masturbating with your partner is extremely sexy.  Show-and-tell how you get yourself off, learn new techniques from him, and teach him what pleases you. Mutual masturbation is usually a progression from Solosex (link to solosex). It can be a great form of foreplay or an alternative to fucking. This may be in situations where you and your partner do not want to fuck but still want to feel sexually satisfied. There are no risks attached to jerking yourself off. However, there is some risk to jerking your partner off. Be aware of any open wounds on your hand and fingers and let him continue jerking off if he is about to cum. Ensure that when he shoots his load that this does not go in your eyes (very painful and can be risky) or in any other opening in your body. Otherwise sit back, relax and enjoy the show.

Rimming refers to licking your partner’s anal opening. This is achieved by using your tongue to lick in and around his anus, stimulating this sensitive area and relaxing the sphincter muscles (look: Anatomy of the Anus).

If you have never done it, it may sound unappealing to you. One of a man’s most sensitive spots is the anus. If you combine that with the softness and smoothness of a tongue, you may be able to imagine why some guys really like it. Some guys do, and some guys don’t. It is entirely up to you. Rimming is a very intimate act that requires a great deal of trust and closeness.

Rimming can be great foreplay for anal sex as it relaxes the sphincter muscles (look: Anatomy of the Anus). The best position for rimming is doggy style (being on all fours while he works you from behind). Alternatively you could lie on your back and lift your legs while he tucks in. Some guys like soft licking (moving in a circular manner around the anus for example), while others prefer it a bit harder (jabbing at the anus as if penetrating it for example). Just like oral sex, work your way into a rhythm and see what feels best for you and your partner.

Good anal hygiene (look: Safety Zone > Hygiene) is very IMPORTANT! A shower together beforehand might be a good option. Rimming carries with it a considerable risk of transmitting Herpes, Anal Warts and Hepatitis A. In some cases even HIV. You can minimize your risk by always using a cut flavoured condom (look: Safety Zone > Condoms and Lube), a flavoured dental dam (Dental Dams), or if all else fails, non-microwavable cling or glad wrap when rimming. If unsettled by his natural smell and flavor consider using flavoured lube.

There is more to sex then just lying there like a dead fish. You and your partner need to get involved. By using your imagination and a certain degree of body suppleness, the potential list of sex positions is virtually endless. We’ll give you a few of the many options.

• Assume your mission position. In this position he should lie on his back and raise his legs (sometimes over your shoulders) while you insert your cock in him. You can then maintain control over depth, rhythm and speed of penetration (checking his responses of course).

• Going for a ride. For beginners it can be a good idea to sit on top of him while he lies on his back. In that way he can penetrate you, but you maintain control over the depth, rhythm and speed of penetration.

• Give and take a few. '69' is a position where your bodies literally point in opposite directions. In this way you are able to suck him while he sucks you at the same time. The easiest way to do this is if one of you lies on your back, while the other one is on top, or alternatively if you lie side by side.

• Where are your table manners? While leaning over the edge of a table you can enter him from behind. The great thing about a table means that you can stand, move around more freely, pretend you are a porn star, and avoid getting sore knees and pesky carpet burns.

• Who let the dogs out? Conventional doggy style is fairly common and usually takes place in bed or on the carpet. As he kneels on all fours in front of you, you will grip him by the waist and penetrate him from behind. Each of you works towards maintaining a particular rhythm. This one can be very hard on the knees but great for the abs.

• Everyone got a seat? In this instance a chair or couch will come in handy. He can sit on the couch while you sit on his lap, allowing him to penetrate you. You can take control of the rhythm or let him thrust into you, with the help of the couch springs of course. Available cushions make this method very comfortable.

To get inspiration for other positions, you could read an erotic book or magazine or watch a porn movie. Don’t get worked up if you think you don’t know many positions or are not flexible or supple enough. There are no rights or wrongs in sex, only wishes, desires, and fantasies! You can learn by playing and trying things out. What works is up to you to decide.
 

As is the case with all sexual activities, it is very important that you know the risks associated with each position and make the right choices for yourself (look: Safety Zone).

Dildos, vibrators and butt plugs can be used for sexual pleasure. These sex toys should always be kept clean and should not be shared with other people unless new condoms are used each time. Lube can make a difference between penetration of any kind being sexy and slippery and totally discomfort-free, or not. Read on for a description of the most popular sex toys, available at most adult sex shops or for order over the internet.

For penile stimulation
Most men have their first orgasm with the help of their hands, and this may remain a perfectly enjoyable and comfortable way to reach orgasm. However, there's definitely no harm in experimenting with new sensations to see if you like them. A vibrator can focus sensation on the head of the cock, while specialised sleeve-type sex toys distribute sensation all along the shaft of the cock.

Anal toys
A good anal toy can be a revelation: assuming you have some water-based lube so that inserting the toy is comfortable, it can provide stimulation to the nerve-rich anus while going in, and once in can intensify, in a very interesting way, the feeling of the whole pelvic region while performing other sexual activities. There are two broad categories of anal toys: those meant to be left in during play, and those meant to be gradually pushed in and pulled out during play.

Butt plugs have a special shape that ensures that they are not pulled into the anus by the natural suction of the anus and help them stay in place once they're inserted. They can be left in while having other kinds of sex. Anal beads or the more durable alternative, a dildo with a series of bulbs shaped like beads, are inserted, and gradually pulled out during intercourse or masturbation, perhaps leaving a few for the moment of orgasm itself. The impact of this kind of sensation can be mind blowing.

Solosex is also known as masturbation, jerking off, pulling wire, spanking the monkey, hand fucking etc. Many guys can’t remember when they first had a solo work-out or how they ever came up with the idea to jerk themselves off. It is a popular activity for most men. There’s always a time and place for it: in the morning before getting up, while in the shower or bath, while at school or at work, or in the evening before going to sleep. Some guys may use a porn movie, an erotic book, horny web-talk or their own imaginations or fantasies to spice things up a bit.

There are a number of myths around jerking off, namely that it’s a sin, that it will affect your eyesight or that it could make you go insane. These myths are all a load of hog wash. Most men experience a great deal of delight without any harmful side-effects.

There is no perfect or best way of having solosex. Every guy has his own technique and preferences. Jerking off on a regular basis will help you discover what is enjoyable and works for you: faster or slower motions, harder or softer grip, focusing on the shaft of your cock, the head, or both, using your whole hand or just a finger or two.

Most uncircumcised (uncut) guys have the pleasure of using their foreskins to stimulate the head of their cocks while jerking off. Circumcised (cut) (look: Anatomy of the Penis) guys may want to use some spit or lube to make jerking off a bit smoother and more pleasurable.

Some useful tips:

• Choose a time and place when you won’t be disturbed.
• Take your time and explore different ways of having sex with yourself, like touching your nipples, playing with your balls, varying your speed and intensity, or using different lubes, a dildo or a vibrator.
• Watch yourself in the mirror.
• If you tend to use the same hand, change hands some times. It may just feel as though someone else is doing it for you.
• Delay cumming for as long as possible. This can be done by stopping completely when you feel you are about to cum and then starting again a few seconds later. Alternatively you can gently squeeze the head of your cock when you feel you are about to climax and then carry on once this feeling passes.
• Consider including masturbation as an alternative form of sex with your sex partner, so that it becomes mutual masturbation. In this way, you and your sex partner can then jerk off in front of one another or help each other out.

Solosex is a great way to explore your sexuality, while mutual masturbation can be an exciting way to explore sex with a new partner, in a low risk manner. Solosex is also a great way to overcome premature ejaculation.
 

Teabagging is a slang term used to describe a guy that dips his testicles (or balls) (look: Sexual Health >  Anatomy of the Penis) into another guy’s mouth, or on and around his face. This often accompanies oral sex (look: Blow Jobs / Oral Sex).

Threesomes, group sex or orgies, is an extremely popular fantasy among a number of gay men. A threesome describes a sexual activity involving three or more people. Group sex, or orgy, involves more than three participants at the same time. Group sex involving one participant being penetrated by multiple people is termed a gangbang. Threesomes, group sex and orgies are appealing because of the excitement and variety they offer.

The level of sexual activity among group members may vary greatly. Some threesomes, for example, may involve one guy who plays voyeuristic role, and sometimes the invited member is there for enhancing the experience, but does not participate. Other threesomes may actively involve all three members.

Group sex can take place in private parties or in nightclubs, bathhouses, massage parlours, or bars.

Also already mentioned elsewhere, group sex can pose a considerable risk because (1) the sexual histories of all sexual partner are often not known to one another (especially if a once-off group encounter), and (2) because group sex directly implies having had a higher number of sexual partners (as is the case here). Know the risks and make the right choices for yourself (look: Safety Zone).

Vanilla sex is a term used to refer to normal oral or anal sex that does not involve a fetish or anything kinky. Vanilla sex is typically associated with bland hetero-sex. For those not wishing to explore BDSM, vanilla sex is quite satisfying. Irrespective of your preference, it is important that you know the risks and make the right choices for yourself (look: Safety Zone).