Human Sexuality

According to the World Health Organisation (WHO, 2002) sexuality may be defined as a ‘central aspect of being human throughout life and encompasses sex, gender identities and roles, sexual orientation, eroticism, pleasure, intimacy and reproduction. Sexuality is experienced and expressed in thoughts, fantasies, desires, beliefs, attitudes, values, behaviours, practices, roles and relationships. While sexuality can include all of these dimensions, not all of them are always expressed and experienced. Sexuality is influenced by the interaction of biological, psychological, social, economic, political, cultural, ethical, legal, historical and religious and spiritual factors.’ Within this broad working definition is a more specific definition of sexuality or sexual identity, which includes 5 interrelated, yet distinct, components or dimensions that cumulatively contribute to an awareness or perception of oneself as a sexual being. These 5 dimensions include biological sex, gender identity, social gender role, sexual orientation, and sexual practice or behaviour (see diagram below for a schematic overview of these dimensions).

Diagram: Schematic Overview of Human Sexuality

The relationship between these dimensions remains complex and largely unclear, as the degree of correspondence between each dimension may at times appear inconsistent, or even contradictory, according society’s standards and norms for, or expectations of, human sexuality. The more we learn, the more we realise that, when it comes to human sexuality, there are essentially no basic rules or prescriptions that can apply to all. What follows is a description of each dimension. Try to identify where you fit in on the human sexuality landscape.

Sex, as it is used here, is not simply what happens between the sheets, or over the kitchen counter. As a biological concept, sex refers to your biological make up (i.e. your XX or XY chromosomes, hormonal composition, external genitalia, internal genitalia, gonads, and secondary sex characteristics) which indicates whether you are identified as male or female. These aspects are generally present from birth and become more pronounced as you get older. In very simple terms, your sex refers to what you have in your pants!

These initial notions of being either a biological male or female are challenged by the term intersex (sometimes called the third sex). The term intersex refers to a set of medical diagnoses that feature “congenital variance of the reproductive and sexual system.” Intersex people are born with chromosomes, external genitalia, and/or internal reproductive systems that are not considered “typical” for either the male (penis, testes, XY chromosomes) or female (ovaries, vagina, uterus, XX chromosomes) sex.  Intersex is a fairly common occurrence. It is estimated that 1 in 2000 babies are born “obviously” intersex. This number does not include the high number of people who are diagnosed as intersex later in life. Intersex people's bodies have historically been, and continue to be, viewed as "social emergencies" by doctors. When discovered at birth in most Westernised countries, unnecessary cosmetic surgery is often performed on the majority of intersex babies, to ensure that they conform to either male or female aesthetic binary standards (obviously, an infant cannot consent to having surgery). These surgeries often require multiple follow-up repair surgeries and are ridden with complications. Adult intersex people are often haunted by a lifetime of these traumatic procedures, robbing them of sexual sensations, and denying them the need to feel present and safe in their own bodies.

It is very important not to confuse the term intersex (a biological concept) with being transgender (a gender identity concept), being gay (a sexual orientation), or expressing transvestic fetish (a behaviour/practice), some of which will be discussed in more detail below.

In very basic terms, your identity can be described by giving your answer to the question: “Who am I?” In a rather similar way, your gender identity refers to a psychological sense or, or primary identification with, being either male or female. Developmentally, children learn what sex they are at a very early age. They usually develop a firm conviction (that is, a strong sense or belief) that they are either male or female at around age 2-3. This conviction generally becomes more stable and constant from about age 4. Although in most cases one’s gender identity appears consistent with their biological sex, it is not necessarily an indication of one’s gender role, sexual orientation, or range of sexual practices one may enjoy (which will become clear below).

For some people, however, the conviction that they are male or female may not match their assigned biological sex (e.g., the psychological sense that one is female despite being born in a male body). These individuals experience a strong and persistent cross-gender identification, which includes the desire to be, or the insistence that one is, of the opposite sex. In addition, these individuals experience persistent discomfort with their assigned biological sex and/or a sense that the gender role associated with their assigned biological sex is inappropriate. These individuals are commonly referred to as being transgender (which is in fact an umbrella term used to collectively refer to a variety of groups, individuals, and behaviours involving tendencies to vary from culturally conventional gender roles, such as transsexuals, cross-dressers, transvestites, drag queens, and other gender non-conformers etc). But here the term transsexual is arguably more appropriate for people with a cross-gender identification and should not be confused with other transgender concepts, such as cross-dressers, transvestites etc. Unfortunately these individuals continue to be ostracised, victimised, ridiculed and pathologised. Many transsexual people have a desire to transition, but the desire and degree of this transitioning may vary from person to person. A trans man refers to a female-to-male (FTM) individual, while a trans woman refers to a male-to-female (MTF) individual. 

A person’s gender role is largely culturally and socially determined. At a broad level, society (which is considered predominantly patriarchal and heteronormative) defines and dictates which typical roles (that is activities and behaviours) are considered appropriate for men and women depending on their assigned biological sex. As such, men are typically expected to be masculine (e.g., boys don’t cry, and men must be strong, sporty, competitive, rational, and in many cases, aggressive), and women are typically expected to be feminine (e.g., girls must play with dolls, and women must be submissive, emotional, nurturing, and in many cases, domesticated). These cultural norms, standards, and expectations are considered to be “gender-typical”, and are usually adopted at a very early stage via one’s family (starting with the ‘innocent’ gesture that baby girls should wear pink and baby boys should wear blue), and reinforced later on through the media, education, religious institutions, one’s peers, and various other social networks.

In reality, however, gender roles are not as fixed or straightforward as society expects. In addition to being “gender-typical”, one may be considered “gender-neutral” (i.e. androgynous, or exhibiting a combination of masculine and feminine traits), or “gender-atypical/non-conforming” (i.e. being male with feminine characteristics or female with masculine characteristics). These variations from the norm are often confused with being transgender or gay, which is not necessarily the case. Although there are some signs of change, failure to conform to society’s traditional gender roles may still result in rejection, humiliation, victimisation, or even violence. Given society’s prevailing patriarchal (i.e. rule of the father) and heteronormative (heterosexuality as the ideal) culture, boys and men continue to experience significant pressure to conform to gender-typed expectations and repeatedly prove their masculinity to others. Unfortunately, this constant pressure tends to be limiting, and invariably results in unnecessary conflict and pain.

A person’s sexual orientation refers to a lasting pattern of emotional, cognitive, psychological, romantic and/or sexual attractions to men, women, or both sexes simultaneously. It is generally agreed that sexual orientation exists along a continuum, ranging from exclusive heterosexuality (i.e. straight) on one end to exclusive homosexuality (i.e. gay) on the opposite end, with varying degrees of bisexuality between these two points. Most people are believed to be situated somewhere along this continuum. While a minority of people are considered to be either exclusively straight or gay, the majority of people are believed to be moving somewhere in-between these opposite ends, although demonstrating a preference for or tendency towards either end. It is generally agreed that one’s sexual orientation is not a choice but is determined by approximately age 4, which is well before the age at which conscious choice would indicate.

It is important to note here that one’s sexual orientation is not necessarily associated with one’s biological sex, gender identity, gender role, or even sexual practice. One’s sexual orientation is not so clear-cut. For example: Paul is a biological male, with the conviction that he is male, but assume a more feminine gender role, yet self-identify as being heterosexual and attracted to women only. Mel, on the other hand, is a biological male, with the firm conviction that she is female, assume a feminine gender role, and self identify as lesbian, despite attractions to the opposite sex. These are generic examples, but they illustrate that you can NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER!

Lastly, it is important to state that being bisexual is in no way related to being intersex or transgender.

This refers to a range of behaviours or practices that can occur between members of the same or opposite sex. People often make the mistake that if one does X that this must mean that they are Y. Once again this relationship is not clear cut or as simple. Some people engage in narrowly defined and mutually exclusive sexual practices whereas others are more willing to explore. For example, the term MSM (men who sex with men) became popular. This broad term applies to heterosexually, homosexually, and bisexually self-identified men who intermittently or frequently engage in sexual activity with other men. This broad term illustrates the complexities involved in understanding human sexuality.

One can never assume anything about someone’s sexual identity based on their biological sex, gender identity, gender role, sexual orientation, or sexual behaviour. We are complex creatures, and should be treated and respected as such. So, go ahead, explore, find yourself, accept yourself, and express who you truly are. You are unique.