There are many HIV/AIDS myths.  These myths contribute to stigma surrounding HIV/AIDS.

HIV is a death sentence.

This is the biggest myth of all.  In fact, these days, people are living with HIV longer than in previous years. Medications have improved dramatically and, as a result, so have the life span of people with HIV infection. If you have access to antiretroviral drugs (ARVs) and to medical monitoring, there's no reason you can't live a long life even with HIV infection or AIDS. A better understanding of HIV allows those infected to live normal, healthy and productive lives.

HIV can be cured.

There are many that claim that there are miraculous cures available; however there is still no cure for HIV. Be careful of claims that there are cures and miracles. It is not surprising that there are a lot of scam artists that claim that they have a cure for HIV/AIDS. Furthermore in certain cultures it is believed that if you have sex with a virgin that you will be cured.  As a result, many young children have been exposed to HIV and have developed AIDS. There is no evidence to support this belief.

Transmission myths

Many people still believe that HIV could be transmitted by a mosquito bite, by sharing a glass or cutlery with a person infected with HIV, or by close contact with another person (e.g., coughing, sneezing, hugging or kissing). Transmission of HIV can only occur when you are exposed to semen, blood, vaginal fluid and sometimes breast milk from an infected person. However, there is no compelling evidence of transmission through contact with the saliva or tears of an infected person.

A condom is not needed for oral sex.

This is a dangerous and untrue myth. Although the risk is lower than penetrative sex, you are still exposed to body fluids, which could make you vulnerable to contracting a sexually transmitted infection. Condoms should be used in every sexual encounter.

People over 50 don’t get HIV.

This is untrue.  HIV does not have an age restriction.

Both me and my partner have HIV…we don’t need a condom.

Not true. Experts are seeing an increase in the incidence of re-infection. If you have HIV and are having unprotected sex with your infected partner, you will be transmitting your virus to him and he will be re-infecting you with his virus. It is widely believed that re-infection is worse than the initial infection as you are exposed to more of the HIV virus, which will likely become more aggressive. 

HIV is the same as AIDS.

This couldn’t be further from the truth. HIV is a virus that can cause AIDS. AIDS is a collection of illnesses; AIDS is acquired from the HIV virus when the immune system is almost depleted. (Link to HIV/AIDS)

ARV medications are poison and more dangerous than the HIV virus.

When the first ARV medication became available, they weren't as good as the current ARV medication. People still died of AIDS-related conditions. It's true that some people experience serious side effects from ARV medications, but the death rate has dropped by about 80% because of the efficacy of these treatments. Researchers are working hard to make HIV treatments easier and safer to use.

There are a number of myths around sex and safety. These include:

Drinking and drugs are fun and don’t pose any risk.

In the haze of being under the influence, this may seem true. But in fact substance use is related to impairment of judgement, a decrease in inhibitions, an increase in sexual risk-taking, an increase in number of sexual partners, an increase in ‘sexidents’ (sexual accidents) such as premature ejaculation, and an increase in odds of engaging in unprotected sex.

STIs are contracted only through unprotected sex and a high partner turnover.

Although largely true, the danger lies in the fact that certain STIs are transmitted via any physical contact and it could just involve ONE partner.

Condoms do not work.

It is clear through research that condoms prevent HIV transmission very well if they are used correctly and consistently every time you have sex.

Condoms break a lot, so what’s the point?

Less than 2 percent of condoms break when they are used correctly, which means no oil lubricants, no doubling of condoms and no expired condoms.

HIV can get through the condoms.

If intact, HIV cannot get through latex or polyurethane condoms.

Condoms mean less pleasure.

Condoms can be part of foreplay and can be used to spice up sex. Using a water-based lube – a drop inside the tip of the condom – can greatly increase sensation. Be careful not to use too much inside the condom as this may cause it to slip off.

Condoms are too big, too small and/or uncomfortable.

Condoms come in a variety of styles and sizes, flavours and textures. Some are lubricated and others un-lubricated. It is possible to find the right condom for you. You might want to practice using the condom before you actually need to use it – to determine which one you like and which fits properly.

If you masturbate, it means you are lonely and perverted.

Most experts agree that masturbation can be a very positive experience. Masturbation is a risk-free way to learn about your body and what feels good to you.

I would know if I had an STI.

This would be great if only it were true. Unfortunately, not only are many STIs asymptomatic (meaning no visible signs are present), it is impossible to be tested for everything and have an up-to-date indication of your health status. There are several common STIs for which there are either no commercial tests, or for which the tests are only accurate during an outbreak. 

Withdrawal is enough to reduce my risks.

Unfortunately, without the concurrent use of a condom, this is not a good strategy. If you are the active partner (the top), blood from your partner’s anus can still enter into your urethra or get into tiny lesions or tears on your cock’s head. If you are the passive partner (the bottom), there is no guarantee that your partner won’t cum in you. Withdrawal before orgasm is very difficult to time perfectly!

There are a number of myths around sex between men. These include:

Sex between men is unnatural.

If sex between men is considered unnatural, then so is the expression of love, intimacy, and closeness between two consenting adults.

In sex between men, one takes on a woman’s role and the other takes on a man’s role.

This is based the heterosexual model. Sex between men usually involves three possible roles, namely active, passive and versatile. A person can decide, based on his preference, what role is more suitable.

Sex between men is usually violent.

This is not true. In some cases there may be some rough and tumble play, but this is usually playful and consensual. In most other cases, the sex between men is very intimate and affectionate. In cases outright violence, this is then called domestic violence or abuse, and should not be tolerated. 

Sex between men is just about being physical.

For some sex is just about being physical and achieving sexual gratification. But for many others, sex is the expression of the intimacy and affection they feel towards one another.

All men having sex with men will die of AIDS.

This is not necessarily the case. Yes the risks of contracting HIV or an STI are high when it comes to certain sexual practices. But if you make informed choices and follow safer sex practices, there is no reason why you should not enjoy a full and healthy life.

Only bottoms are at risk of contracting HIV and STIs.

This is not true and can be a dangerous myth. It is true that bottoms are generally at a greater risk but tops too can be at risk of contracting a range of STIs, and in certain cases HIV. Know the facts (link to STIs and HIV).

Losing weight will make your penis bigger.

If you lose weight all over your body, there's a pad of fat that is located at the base of your penis that will also shrink. This pad of fat is where part of your penis hides when it's erect, and where even more hides when it's not erect. Losing this pad of fat may make the appearance of the penis larger, but it will not actually grow.

Unsightly dark bags under the eyes, hair growing thicker in unattractive places, and decreased ability to get and maintain an erection are all symptoms of excessive masturbating.

Symptoms of excessive masturbation may include chafed and sore genitalia, but there's no evidence your appearance will change. What's excessive to one person may not be enough to another.

Condoms will protect you from all STIs.

Condoms protect you from STIs transmitted via bodily fluids, including HIV, but may not protect you from STIs transmitted via skin contact, such as HPV.

You can get STIs from oral sex, but you'll be safer if you brush your teeth right after.

It's a MYTH that brushing your teeth has any protective benefit when it comes to oral sex. In fact, brushing can cause microscopic tears in your mouth that make bacteria transmission easier!

Simultaneous orgasm is the ultimate goal of sexual activity.

Most individuals enjoy their partner's response to orgasm and are then happy to proceed in a relaxed fashion to give themselves up totally to their own sensations and satisfaction. Striving for simultaneous orgasm causes people to become ‘goal orientated’ which can make them become inhibited, and can lead to sexual dysfunction.

Arousal is automatic if both partners love each other.

Although love is the best known aphrodisiac, and arousal is usually spontaneous, there are times when one or other partner is not responsive, and many factors can inhibit arousal.

It is abnormal, wrong, perverted or unhealthy to have oral sex.

Anything that couples do to increase their pleasure is "normal" provided that it is acceptable to both and does not hurt or degrade either partner. Men find oral stimulation very arousing. Swallowing semen can be harmless providing that both partners are sure that there is no risk of HIV infection.

Masturbation is wrong and may cause ill¬ health.

There is no evidence that masturbation affects health adversely.

The circumcised penis is more easily aroused as the glans [tip of penis] is exposed, but circumcised men have more difficulty in controlling premature ejaculation.

There is no difference between sexual arousal in circumcised and non-circumcised men as the foreskin often draws back during erection and gives the same exposure.

I have to be crazy to see a therapist.

Although psychotherapy first started with ‘crazy people’, it has become a norm for all sorts of people to use psychologists, psychotherapists and counsellors. Oddly enough, the most productive therapies happen with high functioning people who wish to explore their own internal worlds and come to understand themselves better. These people do not necessarily present with mental illness and approach therapists voluntarily or after crisis and stay in therapy for many years as a way of enriching themselves and growing as people.

Of course, for some people, psychotherapy is a necessity because of mental illnesses like depression, anxiety, addiction, eating disorders and other disorders that are classed as ‘mental disorders’. Different types of therapies have been devised and expanded to suit different types of people and different types of disorders. Some people will be in short-term therapies and some will be in longer and long-term therapies depending on their own needs and commitment. The more long-standing the disorder or the more severe the disorder, the longer the therapy might be. However, people who go into therapy to explore themselves can stay in therapy for years, sometimes more than once a week. Although once weekly is a norm, more frequent therapy over a longer period of time can be beneficial for people who wish to explore themselves and grow, while this can also apply to supportive therapy for those who need therapy through the years as they live with mental illness.

Brief and short-term therapies appeal to different people and are more suitable for crisis management, trauma, phobias and other situations and disorders that can benefit. The best thing to do is to be informed about the choices and options available and to approach a therapist with this in mind.

If I want to see a therapist, any therapist can help me.

This is not true at all. Different therapists have different orientations to therapy, while some only work with certain disorders because of a specialisation. Not all therapists are trained to work in all psychotherapy orientations, some practice psychoanalytic psychotherapy, some practice cognitive-behavioural therapy, others practice existential therapy and a myriad of other types of therapy. Although the expertise and skills of a therapist are crucial, the strongest factor in any therapy is a comfortable and nurturing relationship with the therapist. Therapy is not a comfortable place and is made easier when you embark on a journey of therapy with someone with whom you feel comfortable.

Phone a prospective therapist and ask them how they work and whether they think you could come see them for a few sessions and then decide (any therapist worth their salt will suggest this anyhow). Meet the therapist and see if this is someone you can sit with for one (or more) hour a week over a period of months or years. Question their experience, their training and their expertise with respect to the reason you are going to see them.

All psychological issues are psychiatric issues and need medication.
 

Psychiatric disorders are not the only reason people go to see therapists. But severe psychiatric disorders usually require medication. It is best to have your psychologist and psychiatrist (and dietician and other relevant medical professionals, for that matter) to have some contact with each other with respect to treating psychiatric disorders. People can have psychological issues (“baggage”) which does not constitute a psychiatric disorder in any way. This does not usually need medication or even therapy. Therapy is possible without medication. The other way around, however, is not really true.

If I take medication, I don’t need therapy.

Unfortunately general medical practitioners and psychiatrists do not always insist that their patients enter therapy if they are prescribed psychiatric medication. The reason the medication is needed is usually biological and psychological and it is counter-productive not to complement pharmacotherapy (pills) with psychotherapy. The two work synergistically and, often, psychotherapy works best for mental illness when patients/clients are appropriately medicated. Your psychologist is also the person who will monitor the effect of your medication over time, feedback that is very useful for you and for your psychiatrist.

Therapists and psychiatrists think that homosexuality is a mental illness.

Sadly, there are some that still do think so. And there are still some that discriminate against or ‘pathologise’ (find disorders that are not there) people who are gay. If you approach a therapist, ask directly what their views on homosexuality are; if they are evasive or avoid answering, decide whether you are comfortable with this, but remember a therapist is not obliged to answer questions about their own sexual orientation. Rely on a referral you trust from a friend, a G.P. you know well, from a psychiatrist or psychologist or whatever source you feel comfortable with. You have the right to choose a psychologist you feel comfortable with.